Why the Lotus? (Because Roses are Overrated)
People ask why I chose the lotus for The Jen Journal. Honestly, a rose felt too "Hallmark," and a daisy felt too cheerful for someone carrying a massive trunk of grief.
The lotus is different. Here’s why it’s my icon:
It actually likes the mud: A lotus doesn’t grow in clear, bottled water. It starts at the bottom of a murky, messy pond. It grows in the "F#*K THIS SH#T" moments of life. It literally uses the sludge as fuel to push toward the surface.
It’s a master of the "Reset": Every night, the lotus submerges back into the river water. Every morning, it rises and blooms again, completely clean. It doesn’t pretend the mud isn't there; it just refuses to let the mud stain the petals.
It’s remarkably stubborn: It pushes through the weight of the water every single day just to see the sun. It doesn't wait for the pond to get "cleaned up" before it decides to bloom. It blooms because of the struggle, not in spite of it.
The Unfiltered Truth: For me, the lotus represents that shift from reputation to authenticity. My life feels a bit like a murky pond right now, but I’m realizing that the "muck" of losing Greg—the restlessness, the silence, the broken blueprints—is exactly what is forcing me to grow into this new version of Jen.
I’m still in the water, and some days the mud is thick, but I’m still rising. And I’m definitely not letting the sludge ruin my outfit.
