Daily Struggles: Mowers, Belts, and Happy Tears
- Jennifer Keller
- Apr 26
- 2 min read
Yesterday was one of those days where I felt completely torn. I almost went to buy our annuals—a tradition Greg and I shared every year—but I talked myself out of it, fearing the "trigger" of doing it alone. Instead, I looked at the overgrown grass and decided: "I’m going to mow."
Now, you have to understand: I had never attempted to mow in my entire life. Greg always liked it that way because the yard was "his thing," so mowing was definitely not in my wheelhouse. My dear friend Brian did come over last fall to give me "Zero Turn 101," but actually doing it on my own was a whole different story.
Of course, it wouldn't turn over. Then, once my kind neighbor (who is also a widower) heard the failed attempts, he walked over to help me get it running. And of course, a belt popped off within sixty seconds of me mowing! I almost threw in the towel right then. But I didn't. My neighbor helped me wrestle that belt back on, and I mowed the entire property.
It took two hours. I cried for about half of it, but honestly? Some of those were happy tears. I felt so incredibly connected to Greg out there. I wanted to share this little clip of him doing exactly what I did yesterday—giant vacation hat and all.
Greg took so much pride in his lawn, and I really hope he’d be proud of me for stepping way out of my comfort zone to keep it up—even if the edges are a little rough because I still can't get that stupid weed eater started! One victory at a time, right?
Conclusion
As I wiped my cheeks and listened to the mower settle into its steady rhythm, I realized it wasn’t really about belts or blades—it was about stepping into something that used to feel off-limits, and finding a small, surprising kind of strength on the other side of it. The yard still needed work, and so did my heart, but for a moment they both felt a little more manageable.
What’s a task you’ve recently completed that used to be your spouse’s responsibility—and how did it make you feel? Take a few minutes to journal about it: what you did, what it brought up, and what it might be teaching you about who you’re becoming.